Luna Plena
by Alstroemeriae
Summary: "She'd taken to sleeping in his bed at the start of the term, and he held no objections. It felt nice, to wrap herself around his lithe and muscular body; if fate allowed, she could spend the rest of her life with her ear held to his chest—just listening to the steady heartbeat." Lily worries one full moon. JPLE one-shot.


She'd taken to sleeping in his bed at the start of the term, and he held no objections.

It felt nice, to wrap herself around his lithe and muscular body; if fate allowed, she could spend the rest of her life with her ear held to his chest—just listening to the steady heartbeat. Alas, the pair could not spend their lives in bed, for they had friends, family, ideals, and ambitions. Still, they valued their eight—often more like four or five—hours together.

Lily _hated_ full moons. She remembered, years ago, before she got her Hogwarts letter, when she and Petunia would convince their parents to let them camp in the backyard during the full moon. They'd grab their sleeping bags, and in Lily's case—her tattered maroon blanket; her father would set up the small tent, and tuck them in with a kiss on their foreheads before returning to the house. Of course, they'd stay awake till the wee hours of the morning from the candy Petunia had brought. She had no worries; she was content back then.

Those nights came to a dramatic end during the winter holidays of her first year. Petunia had been scathing and callous when she laughed cruelly in Lily's face; she was too old for that, and sleeping in the same tent as a _witch? _She didn't want to catch the "disease". Lily chose to ignore full moons after that.

In fourth year, she discovered Remus' secret. The symptoms and signs were always there; the panic in his eyes during the school day once a month, and the exhaustion he showed the following day. She could even recall watching him one day, and seeing the bite marks on his ankles when his pant leg rose accidentally. She'd been shocked at first, then sad, and eventually angry. She reviled full moons following her discovery.

Of course, she hadn't known _half_ of the secret. It wasn't until seventh year that she was told the entire story. She had just started dating James when he left their common room for the night and did not come back. She assumed the worst, but convinced herself that he was just spending time with his mates in the Gryffindor tower. The, exactly a month later, it had happened again—almost like it had been planned! So she became the hysterical teenage girl that was bound to expose itself at least once during her Hogwarts career, and threw a fit the next day. If she hadn't been so frantic, she would have realized that he coincidentally disappeared during the full moon, or the night his best friend transformed into a werewolf. After calming Lily down, James had explained that he, Sirius, and Peter were illegal animagus; consequently, Lily threw _another_ fit. But James was James, the ever-loyal best friend who would foolishly risk his own life, for the wellbeing of another's.

It wasn't until the day of the next full moon that Lily realized she would be sleeping alone that night. She figured that she would be worried even more so than when she knew it was just Remus suffering. She assumed she'd be up late, pacing until she could hardly stand, and eventually fall into fitful sleep. But she hadn't expected to silently cry until James stumbled inside the portrait hole at the break of dawn. That's when she Lily realized she truly abhorred full moons.

Lily figured it was approximately three in the morning. If her estimation was true, James probably wouldn't return for another hour at least. She shivered and glanced at the unlit fireplace in the corner of his room. It was usually James who kindled the fires in their dorm; she'd never been able to make hers last more than a couple of hours.

_Merlin, she hated these nights._ Sometimes, she thought she'd go mad with worry—that James would return the next morning and find her rocking back and forth with a crazed look in her eyes. She worried about James, her perfect, reckless boyfriend. She knew, if Remus or Sirius, or probably even Peter, were ever in danger, James would give his life in exchange for theirs. Although this made her _so proud_ of him, it also _scared her shitless_. She worried for Sirius as well, because James and he thought so identically sometimes. She worried for Remus; for the accidents that had so high of a probability of happening once a month. _She_ _worried._

The heavy fall of footsteps echoed through the dorm and Lily springs out of her half-conscious state. He enters his room and squints at her.

"James?" she calls out, even though he's obviously there.

"Shit, sorry Lil, I didn't mean to wake you," he mumbles as he stumbled to the end of the bed, shedding his shirt.

"It's okay," she lies, because she knows that if she admits to her sleepless night, he'll feel guilty.

He sheds his trousers and collapses on the bed next to her. She silently surveys him and finds his health adequate before he paws at her nightgown, beckoning her closer. She complies, wrapping her arm around his torso and nuzzling her face into his neck. His arms wind around her body and pull most of her body on top of his. Her freezing toes press into his calf, and she basks in his warmth.

"You're freezing," he murmurs while absentmindedly lighting the fire with a flick of his hand and pulling the blanket over their bodies. He kisses her hairline.

Lily brushes off his comment, curious to why he's back before the moon is down.

"How's Remus?" she asks as she traces patterns on his chest. Lily can almost feel the relief emanating from him as he tells her that the Wolfsbane potion works better each month. Her mouth stretches into a smile and kisses his jaw in excitement.

They settle into silence, trying to milk the last few hours of rest they have left. But Lily's body is still unusually tense—evidence of the stress she's endured the past few hours.

"Relax, love," he whispers into her ear, "Everything is _okay_. I'm fine. We're okay."

She lets out a shaky breathe and he feels the tension leave her ribcage. Her hand paws at his bare chest, leaving little red scratches as she organizes her thoughts.

"I wish you wouldn't leave."

He winces at that, and guilt washes over him.

"But I know you have to," she continues, "You know, for this one night a month, I feel like the wife of a soldier; I know exactly where you are, the exact danger you are putting yourself into, and I know I can do absolutely nothing about it."

James opens his mouth to reply, but Lily interrupts him.

"And then I realize, this is how it's going to be when we leave Hogwarts—when this foolish war lifts off the ground." She's being pessimistic, but is too stressed to care, "I'm going to be in danger because of my birth, and you're going to be in danger because of your relationship with me."

He's shushing her now, he knows she's going to become hysterical soon.

"I think that's what scares me the most—that you're a target because of me. I think that if you died James, I would end my life too. Not in some sad way, though—I'd go into one of the battle and be just as reckless as you always are. I wouldn't mind being a martyr."

He feels her heart beating erratically against his side, and it _pains _him that she thinks this way. She's so brilliant, yet she can't find a way to escape her fears. She overthinks and blames herself for the faults of humanity and he wants to kill whoever made her feel this way.

"If it was your life at stake, I'd give mine without a second thought," she admits, "But I think you already knew that."

James sits up, pulling her completely into his lap and cradling her head to his chest. He feels her stray tears on his bare skin and nearly begins to cry himself. His hands find her face and force her to look into his eyes.

"I love you, Lily. I love you, am in love with you. _I love you._ You love me, I'm sure of it. We are going to get through this together. We are strong, and everything is going to be okay, love."

Looking into his eyes, all Lily can do is nod. They lie down again, with Lily tightly nestled into his side; her tears still flow, but she is calm and just ridding her body of worry through a physical medium. James knows this conversation will raise next full moon. He lets her sleep through the morning classes, because she needs it. And he loves her.


End file.
